Greg and I went on a praycation the second week of January and I am really glad we did, what came out of it was not what I expected! The plan for our praycation was to spend some time reconnecting and to be in prayer about what the Lord had for us this coming year, as a type A personality I was wanting to have clear vision for some things we are moving into. We did get direction from God and I am grateful for that, but what He really wanted to show us was where our marriage had ended up. Here are the three main takeaways I got about our marriage from our praycation.
1. We had both been slacking in our marriage
While on our praycation it became very clear to me early on that somewhere along the way we had stopped trying to meet each others needs and put the work into making our marriage great. We do marriage coaching and work in ministry, which keeps us very busy, and we had ended up in a place where those had taken priority over each other. Our lives have changed dramatically over the last year and a half with three of our oldest children leaving to go out on their own, we didn’t fill the gaps with each other, we filled them with work. I have been taking a long look at what I want my marriage to be like and how to get back there. I want our marriage thriving to where we are each others first priority and we are putting the health of our marriage first, this makes us the most effective in our ministries.
2. We needed to put our phones down
While we were on our praycation we had agreed that we were going to turn our phones down and put them away, checking them periodically to see if anything was pressing, this was a game changer for us. We have both gotten into the habit of being on our phones for many things, we run both of our businesses from our phones, and we are both use them for entertainment while we are in the same room. I am not saying that we shouldn’t use our phones for business or entertainment but we needed to take a real look at the amount of time spent on our phones versus the amount of real time we were spending connecting. It was quite obvious, while we sat in a room with each other and no phones that we had not been communicating like we should. In fact, the more I looked at it we weren’t even talking to each other the same way, this needed to be fixed. Communication is the foundational aspect of our relationship and if we don’t start doing it effectively again we could find ourselves in a dangerous place.
3. We weren’t having the kind of sex we should be having.
Now don’t get me wrong, we have a pretty great sex life, but it dawned on me that we had a very different intimate connection while away at the hotel. I think it would be safe to say that most couples relate differently when they are away from the stresses of life and children, but I realized we use to relate like that without being away. We had let the excitement of each other fizzle somewhat and I wasn’t going to just settle for the status quo. I want to have a great intimate connection with my husband and don’t want us to quit pursuing each other.
I am so glad that we decided to take this time away to focus on us, we have decided to make it a priority to do it more often. I think it is good to put a microscope on your marriage and what your part is in it so you can work towards something better. I am not sure how to go about fixing the things I have noticed but atleast I see them and can start somewhere. Not only do I need to talk to my husband more, I need to talk to my husband about these things more. My marriage is what I make it and I want to make it great!