John 8:32 And you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.
There was a six month period of my life where God had me study and study and study this verse. I am so glad that He did that for me, He has me think of it frequently when situations arise that upset me. Our mind has a way of running away on us and it can be our worst enemy if we allow it to have the last word and set our thoughts on a negative path of destruction.
This verse has brought wisdom for me in relationships, but has been a special blessing in my marriage.
I remember once having a conversation with my husband where he exclaimed “I don’t wake up in the morning thinking, how can I make Lisa mad today and wreck my chances of intimacy!” This statement has stuck with me ever since, I don’t remember what we were talking about but I remember him saying that because it holds true for him everyday.
There is conflict in our marriage, just like everyone else, and we have to work at it, just like everyone else.
I find myself asking the following question a lot when there is a conflict between me and my husband – “What is the truth of this situation?” I am not always great at remembering to do this, but when I do, I can sometimes resolve my own conflict without having to create one with my husband. I will ask myself “Did my husband really leave his clothes on the floor next to the laundry basket to aggravate me?” The answer is always no and it would be kind of silly of me to think otherwise.
Stopping to seek the truth really can set you free, it can set you free from anger, resentment and from wasting a day on an argument you could just be forgiving about and not even bring up.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not by any means suggesting you shouldn’t discuss issues with your spouse when something arises. There are times when you should talk to your spouse and resolve issues, communication is important in marriage and is the best way to keep connected, especially when something is bothering you. I am saying that taking the time to seek the truth about a situation can help you enter the conversation more rationally and give you a better outcome or even help you decide that you may not need to address the issue at all.
“Did my husband really come back from the store without the eggs again?”
These are the kinds of things that can occur that cause instant frustration, but I can guarantee you that your husband did not forget them on purpose. The frustration will still arise if something you needed for dinner may have been forgotten when he ran to the store, but a quick reminder to yourself of how he treated you last time you made a mistake could help to sober your response to him.
Let’s all approach each other in love with a little more forgiveness and truth seeking. More than likely your spouse set out today to love you to the best of their abilities and made mistakes along the way just like you did.