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The “FREQUENCY” of your sexual relationship with your spouse.

At first I planned on writing this blog about a couple questions I privately ask my male friends. I ask them #1 how often do you and your wife engage sexually? And I let that sit for several minutes. Then I tenderly ask #2 how often do you end up taking matter’s in to your own hands?

I’m always interested in this conversation because I struggle with my wife, not with sex, but in discussing the topic concerning “how often”. It is often comforting to learn if other couples have similar discussions and or struggles in any and all areas of marriage. It’s nice to realize that in your troubles you are actually quite normal. Any way these questions among my male peers spur huge conversations. And allow me to bring the gospel into discussions in a van full of musicians from a variety of spiritual places in their lives. In relation to subjects that are biblical that wound never be discussed in “proper church”.

But as I sat down to write this article, the Holy Spirit quickly began to steer me in a slightly different direction.

Many songs, poems, and potential Oscar winning movie moments compare “making love” to “making music.”  In music two words that come to my mind immediately having to do with FREQUENCY are dissonance, and harmony.  Dissonance can be described by suggesting that two notes being played simultaneously are out of tune and therefore do not please the listener’s ear. Let’s take a look at dictionary.com and see I close I get…

Dissonance

  1. Inharmonious or harsh sound; discord; cacophony.
  2. Music. A simultaneous combination of tones conventionally accepted as being in a state of unrest and needing completion. An unresolved, discordant chord or interval.
  3. Disagreement or incongruity.

The antonym of the word dissonance is consonance. Let’s take a look at dictionary.com again and see what it has to say about “consonance”

Consonance

  1. Accord or agreement.
  2. Correspondence of sounds; harmony of sounds.
  3. Music. A simultaneous combination of tones conventionally accepted as being in a state of repose.

Harmony can be described by suggesting that two different notes being played simultaneously are blending and working well together and therefore pleasure the listener’s ear. Lets just say for what I am composing here that God is the musician and therefore also the listener. You and your spouse are the instrument, or maybe each of you a different string on a rare but beautiful 3 stringed musical instrument I like to call a onefleshaphone.

Now let’s take a look at dictionary.com and see what it has to say about “harmony”

Harmony

  1. Agreement; accord; harmonious relations.
  2. A consistent, orderly, or pleasing arrangement of parts; congruity.
  3. Music. Any simultaneous combination of tones. The simultaneous combination of tones, especially when blended into chords pleasing to the ear; chordal structure, as distinguished from melody and rhythm.The science of the structure, relations, and practical combination of chords. 
  4. An arrangement of the contents of the gospels, either of all four or of the first three, designed to show their parallelism, mutual relations, and differences.

1 Corinthians 7:3-4 says: The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality – the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights”. Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out.

Do you see any parallel concepts in 1 Corinthians 7; 3-4 that are present in the definitions of dissonance, consonance, and harmony?  Now,one verse my wife loves is Matthew 5:9

 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.

 I strongly feel that is pertains to the sexual relationship of husband and wife.

Now, I ask you after you’ve read and mediated on all the information I have presented. Is the sexual “FREQUENCY” in your marriage striving towards making music that would please God’s ear? If not… get in tune and woodshed those scales! Write a song together for God using your sexual relationship as an instrument for worship! And play it “frequently” enough that it becomes a top 10 hit! And then… write another!

Can you point out other biblical parallels to anything I have said in addition to what I have suggested? Do you disagree with me? I am eager and excited to hear your thoughts. Please share your thoughts.

3 Comments

    • Greg & Lisa

      We are sorry to hear that, you both deserve to engage in “music making” together. If you are willing to share, what are some areas you think maybe contributing to the lack of “music” in your relationship?

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