New Loveseat

Stepping Up When Your Spouse Needs You

Lisa’s thoughts on stepping up in times of struggle…

Our family is going through a transitional period in life and it has got my husband questioning lots of things about our life and our future.  How will our life be different?  What will those changes look like?  Why wasn’t this thing over here good enough or wanted?  The list of life questions goes on and on, and during this time I had a question of my own.

How can I support my husband best while he goes through this life change?

Just to be clear, nothing is falling apart in our lives, just some areas that are shifting, but it has stress high and morale low in our home.  I had to stop and look at what was really going on for Greg.  What he needed from me, at least for a little while, was understanding and to take charge for a time.  He needed some down time and to be able to gather his thoughts while licking some wounds and deciding on a best course of action for our family (these decisions are stressful any time they come up).

I decided to serve him and let him be down when he was down and up when he was up.

I decided this wasn’t the time to try to cheer him up or give him answers, this was a time to listen and empathize.  My husband going through a season like this is a first for me and I had to trust in the Lord to guide me into what my husband needed, not what I needed.  I had to put me aside for a time and put my husband first, which didn’t seem like a lot to ask considering all of the times he has come to my rescue.  He needs me to love him where he’s at, not try to drag him over to where I am.

What I am comforted with during this time is that God gave us marriage for service and oneness and He had the big plan figured out all along.

3 Comments

  • Jerry Stumpf

    Lisa,

    You seem to be working to support Greg and that’s a wonderful thing to do. Keep in mind that he does not need more “love” he desperately needs your respect. Tell him all the ways you value him: father, husband, son to his parents, worker, friend to others, etc.

    And 25 times a day, tell him how much of your hero he is! He craves validation that he is OK and that God and you are pleased with him

    Ask him if these are methods he needs as a man to validate his decisions.

    Ask him this simple question: “What four methods in the next week can I show you how awesome you are as my husband?” Then begin to act upon his answers.

    You guys rock and sometimes life rocks our marriage boat so we are better prepared for others.

    Hope I don’t come across as “corssing the line”. You have such a great minitry and couples will watch how you draw closer to each other in these times of trouble.

    • Greg & Lisa

      Thanks for caring Jerry 🙂 We really appreciate your suggestions and being able to gain an outside perspective on this. We will definitely be discussing your suggestions and appreciate any prayers sent our way. Have a happy Easter!

  • Jerry Stumpf

    Since you “posted” this issue, keep us as up to date as you two feel comfotable.

    You two have a lot to offer couples who have committed their lives to each other through the covenant of marriage.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *