New Loveseat

Purposeful Protection

Lisa’s thoughts on intimacy while apart…

On September 11th my husband left to go on a three week tour with the band he’s in, we have never been apart for this length of time, the longest he has ever been gone is six days.

My husband is out on a 23 day tour, which means we won’t have any intimate or sexual in person contact for that long! 

My husband has let me know that he doesn’t calculate sex by days, but by the amount of times he feels he needs to have a sexual release, so in this case 23 days is a really, really long time in his “man” time.

In our marriage, Greg has committed himself to not “handle” things on his own, so we always make sure we both participate where sexuality is concerned.

Knowing he was going to be doing this prompted a lot of conversations on our part for how we wanted to handle these 23 days.  We realized that we were going to have to make a game plan for how we wanted these days to go rather than just allow them to happen to us.

We both work together in our marriage to keep things pure and to keep us both protected from porn and any other temptations from outside of our marriage.

The obvious, but not ideal choice for us is to tastefully use the telephone, which is not something we have a lot of experience with, we were totally willing to try to figure this out to protect our sexuality and I wanted to keep my husband’s attention focused on me.

I didn’t question whether or not my husband could have remained pure for 23 days, but I didn’t want to leave any of that up to chance and chose to protect my husband. 

We have decided in our marriage that we confront things like porn and our sexuality staying pure as a team.  We both feel that outside sexual temptations do not belong in our marriage, so we will stand together against them rather than let them creep in and end up being against each other.

This is a choice we have made and it has really benefitted out marriage.


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