I wasn’t always so proactive about marriage, but through the years I have really learned the value of educating myself about my spouse and skills that directly impact my marriage relationship. There is a lot of valuable education out there about marriage, but I think it is even more valuable to educate yourself about your marriage.
Marriages are not cookie cutter and my spouse has his own needs and personality.
Discovering Greg’s needs was a big step in the right direction towards a happy marriage because his needs are quite different from my own. Trying to love Greg in ways that made me feel loved was missing the mark, there is a reason the bible addresses men and women differently on some relationship issues, because we are so different.
However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. ~Ephesians5:3NIV
Here are some tools that we found very useful in getting to know what each of us needed in our marriage.
This book looks at five ways that people feel loved and helps couples discover the way their spouse receives love. This concept really opened up the way that I relate to Greg, it turned out that his number one need was last on my list so I wasn’t putting as much emphasis on it as I should have been in our marriage. You can purchase this book and support Loveseat marriage by clicking on the picture to the left.
Both of these books really opened up communication for us. The book about communication on the left really helped us to see that we each have different ways of communicating, that other people communicate in these ways, and that we weren’t just incompatible at trying to talk with each other. The book Fight Fair helped us to see some of the ugly things we were doing that would make our conversations turn into conflicts, we are definitely not perfect at conflict, but this book offered us a lot of good insight into how to respect each other when we are in conflict. You can check out more information and support us by clicking on these books.
His Needs Her Needs is a book we have read many times and have led group studies on more than once. This book looks at ten emotional needs people have and how those needs are legitimate and can be met. This books also looks at the concept of the love bank and how not tending to our spouses’ love bank can lead to hurt and maybe an affair when someone else steps in and meets to need we may be neglecting. You can check out more information and support us by clicking on these book.
In February 2015 Greg and I were able to attend a Love After Marriage conference and it changed our marriage. Love After Marriage brought a lot of healing to us personally and to our marriage. There are conferences taking place around the world and the Bynes put their wisdom into a book for those who are unable to attend the seminars. We highly recommend this book for couples, Greg and I lead Love After Marriage book studies with other couples and continue to receive blessings in our marriage every time we lead it.
Greg and I are facilitators and seminar directors for the Prepare/Enrich program and we feel this is a great tool to utilize whether you are engaged or have been married for forty years, you can find out more information about this program and find a facilitator near you by visiting www.prepare-enrich.com.
These are all tools I love and want to share that have greatly impacted the success of our marriage, please share any other materials you have found useful with our readers by commenting and sharing them.