Is change hard for you?
Do you find change easier if you are making a choice to change versus needing to make a change?
Recent changes at our house have got me pondering people’s willingness to make changes for each other in their marriages…
My husband has recently been going through some health issues that are causing us to make some shifts in our behavior. Our lives aren’t being changes drastically, but dietary changes and added exercise are altering our already hectic schedule.
These are changes that I don’t mind making, in fact I am the one encouraging most of them out of love and concern for my husband.
It seems like making lifestyle changes due to a health status change are usually pretty easy to make. These are necessary, we get a scare with a dose of reality about our mortality and we want to create as much comfort and longevity in our relationships as possible. I would be willing to make any changes necessary to accommodate health changes my husband needs to make, I think most of us would.
What I am not so sure about is my level of acceptance and support in life changes that are not as threatening as a health issue.
I have been thinking back through our marriage and wondering how supportive I have been or come across concerning other changes that happened in our lives and our marriage. I found myself asking “was I as supportive as I am being right now when his health is at risk?” and if not, I sure wish I had been.
If I am honest, there have been some changes in our lives I didn’t welcome, nor did I want anything to do with them, so I know I wasn’t as supportive as I should have been.
If I think back on how my husband responded to changes which have occurred in our lives and our marriage, I feel like he didn’t do a perfect job (nobody does), but he did a better job at adjusting than I did. I have a type A personality and change really throws me for a loop and I need some time to adjust. My husband is a free spirit and an artistic soul, he just goes with the flow no matter which way it is flowing.
I don’t have any real wisdom on this topic, other than to treat our spouse how we would like to be treated by them.
I hope to get better at adjusting to the changes life throws our way and to be more loving and accommodating through them, not just the big ones, but the little ones and the ones I don’t necessarily like.
Please share any insights you may have on being supportive through times of change in marriage.