New Loveseat

#8 Calling All Men!

This summer we are revisiting our top 10 posts, #8 Calling All Men!

was originally posted on May 20, 2014

Kevin Geer was a guest speaker at our church last Sunday, he came to speak to leaders about how to change the attitude and culture within a church so that it would not die or give itself an expiration date.   At one point he talked about choosing a demographic for his church to reach, his sample was men, second married, and  age 35.  He explained how choosing music for that demographic caused some disruption to the church at first because it was a “change”.  He also went into the success they had.

As I thought about what music do 35 year old males like, I drifted into thinking about the imaginary second married 35 year old male…

Why did the 35 year old male’s 1st marriage fail?

How can I be part of the 35 year old male’s second marriage being a success?

What could have been done differently by his peers to help him avoid the divorce?

There was a time that when I went online I would go to places I shouldn’t, now when I go online I go to places I should!  My drive and interest in physical intimacy has not changed, but how I feed the interest has!  I love going to places that give my head and heart information about how to be fulfilling for “us” rather than gratifying for “me”.

Here is what I have come up with after listening to Kevin Geer and letting his words affect my thoughts…

My challenge for the men is this, Tell 3 of your buddies about today, or find another marriage related web site that suits your interest!  Some of my favorites are…

Have you ever sent your buddy a porn clip via email or smart phone under the  guise of “that it was funny”?

Use that tool to surround yourself with people interested in building your marriage into the most phenomenal earthly relationship you’ve ever had!  Don’t have friends that fit that bill?  Then be the first!

Go to and send them the article on foreplay! Or go to and send your buddies a link to the poll concerning oral sex! Or go to and text your buddies a link to her article about why you should have a lot of sex!

This way you stop going to inappropriate places that harm your marriage and you replace them with fulfilling the same interest in your sexual mind but in a way that is productive, Godly, and fulfills both you and your partner, rather than just trying to feed your self alone in the dark! Pun intended!

So the challenge:

One day each week, for the next 3 weeks, text a friend a link from one of the edgier Christian marriage and sex related web sites! Build a culture among your friends of guys trying to get better, more frequent and fulfilling sex within their marriage!

Enjoy! And feel free to comment and let us know what you think!

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